Up until now I’ve been a little regretful over my reconstruction choice.  It was extremely painful and the expanders were still uncomfortable even after all the expanding had been done.  The reconstructed breasts were uneven, poorly shaped and heavily scarred (and did I mention uncomfortable??).  My plastic surgeon assured me that all the problems would be fixed during the final surgery.  Even though I trusted him I had trouble visualizing the final results.

The surgery (as previously noted) went without a hitch.  I had stocked up on oxycontin and was ready to head off the pain, imagining days and days of semi consciousness.  To my surprise I could have managed very well with a few tylenol.  Of course I took some oxycontin just for fun, but had to admit it was like calling in the armed forces to deal with a jay walker.  I don’t actually experience the same kind of “fun” that makes oxycontin so popular on the street, so I gave it up and accepted the fact that I had blown this whole thing out of proportion.  But in all fairness to myself I never expected the original surgery to be the pain nightmare that it was, so on some odd level I guess it all works out.

Back to the breasts, even though they still have “steri strips” (sort of like tape stitches) on, it is clear that much work was done.  First and most important:  the comfort level that I now enjoy with the expanders gone is AMAZING.  Second:  the implants and additional nipping and tucking have accomplished all that my surgeon had promised.

Such sweet relief.

My scalp is covered with baby fine (mostly white) hair.  It’s coming in a little patchy and measuring from 1/4″ to 3/4″ in some places.  I love feeling it with my hands!

I very rarely cover my head now, mostly because its been so hot, but also because I’ve become used to the way it feels naked (not bad!).  I’ve always walked the greenbelt and am comfortable with the fact that some folks are ‘greeters’ and some are ‘avoiders’ as they walk, cycle, push carriages, ride skate boards towards and around me.  What’s different these days is that EVERYONE goes out of their way to be extra warm and friendly to the bald gal…..!!!  I’m not really sure exactly why, but I guess it has something to do with the human desire to help the victim or they’re thinking “there but for the grace of God…..”.  Maybe they’re glad to see that the lady who obviously has had chemo is feeling well enough to exercise, or maybe they think it’s brave to be trotting that bald head out in public.  I know that at least one woman had some explaining to do to a little girl who stopped in her tracks and stared with amazement at my head.  The mom may have been a little mortified, but I was quite amused, keep in mind I’ve dyed my poodles unnatural colors with no shame at all!

Today a young man was walking toward me on the path, he smiled and tipped his hat to reveal a bald scalp, I really loved that.

Sure, being bald is really more comfortable in the heat and humidity.  Showering is a snap.  I’ve saved a fortune on blow drying, shampoo, conditioner, hair cuts and coloring.  Clearly my baldness brings out the best in other people.

In spite of these many pluses I’m really excited about my hair growing back.  I’m just wondering what I’ll have to talk about….

I’m also ‘HOME’ a day early, and ready to begin the rest of my life….!

I had such major misgivings about this surgery.  I’m not sure exactly why, maybe I’ve just been through so much and couldn’t bear the thought of going back to do it all again.  I was remembering the nightmare of the pain getting ahead of me (won’t happen this time).  The horror of chemo (also won’t happen this time).

I am eternally grateful for all the positive energy you’ve all sent.  Your powerful prayers have brought me to this happy conclusion, how blessed I am to know you.  I’m feeling a wonderful sense of peace.  Thank you for being in my life.

Some people might just glide right into it with no problem…not me.  I, of course, have another UTI.  I knew I had it on Monday (holiday) but couldn’t get treatment until Tuesday.

I think my body was trying to sabotage the surgery.

I’m feeling fine after 24 hours of antibiotics….so on with the show!!!

My plastic surgeon will remove the expanders and insert the permanent ‘breasts’.  He’ll also do a little tweaking to improve on the original surgery.  Originally it was supposed to happen at the surgical suite at his office.  So I planned to skip out of there a couple of hours later and do a little shopping at the mall….just kidding….  What I really mean is that I was hoping to crawl out of there with a fist full of narcotics that will let me heal pain free.

The unfortunate twist is that my breast surgeon wants to do some “additional scraping” at the tumor sight.  Apparently the margins weren’t as clear as she would have liked.  I refuse to consider what that means, I really just can’t talk about it at this time.

For all the dear and wonderful friends and family that have carried me through my darkest hours I have one more request.  I’m feeling better and better each day.  I’m almost at the end of the tunnel and the light is shining brightly.  I just need you to send healthy and healing thoughts on July 8th, early in the morning.  A million thanks.

Over the last several days I’ve noticed that my hair is falling out again (!)

Maybe it’s just making room for the new stuff…

Jim has been feeling tired and short of breath for a few weeks.  So, on Wednesday he went to Maine Med for a series of tests.  After he got home the hospital called and asked him to come back to be admitted.  They said the results of his tests were “significant” and, for his safety, he needed to be monitored until they could do a cardiac catheterization.

On Thursday they said he would need one of two procedures, either more stents or a bypass operation.  Luck was with us, the cardiac catheterization showed that the stent procedure would solve the problem.  It seems that he had developed too much scar tissue around the five stents that they had inserted a year and half ago.  On Friday they put five more stents inside the original ones, but this time they used a different kind of stent.  The ‘new’ stent requires him to be on Plavix for a year.  Plavix costs $175.00/month…and the beat goes on….

We’re researching ways to get the medicine at a better price.  Thank you Patti for the links, very helpful.

Jim came home on Saturday.  He’s doing well.  He can’t lift for awhile….Who can…!!!?

Hair

Still waiting….and hoping….!

This past weekend was Mathew’s first stage performance at Lyric Theater.  He was the character “Snout”, “The Wall” and a “Fairy” in Shakespeare’s A MidSummer Night’s Dream.  We all enjoyed his performance, but most importantly HE enjoyed it.  Mathew was the youngest cast member and was clearly a crowd favorite — earning a “BRAVO” from an audience member, along with a round of applause.  The rest of the cast included very talented kids up to age 18.  It was truly a great event.

While he wasn’t actually the ‘star’ of the show, he will always be a star to me (The Beaming Mimi)!!!